Boss: Sorry, but I can't give you a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!

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Employee: I want a salary hike. I do 3 employees' work.
Boss: I can't I can't increase your pay. Give me the names of those employees, I'll fire them.

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My boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary.
He said: Is this what you get paid?
I told him: Nope! I do this for free.

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Boss to employees: Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing.
Knock Knock
Employee: Who is there?
Boss: Not you anymore.

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Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: Yes sir.
Boss: I thought you did. Yesterday after you left to go to your brother's funeral, he came to office to see you!

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Employee: Sir, please increase my salary. I recently got married.
Boss: The company can't compensate for accidents outside the company.

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Boss: I've not seen you do work ever!
Employee: I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

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Angry boss: Have you seen an owl?
Employee: (looking down) No sir.
Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.

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Boss: Am giving you job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs. 2000, is it okay?
Sardar: You are great sir! Starting salary is ok... but, how much is driving salary?

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