Santa Banta
Santa’s Wife: Oh, look at the dead bird.
Santa look looks skyward and says: Where, Where?
Santa: Tu kitna padha hai?
Banta: B.A
Santa: Do akshar padha aur woh bhi ulta!?
Santa: Yaar nind nahi aa rahi
Banta: Never mind uska intezaar na kar, so jaa.
Driver: Petrol khatam ho gaya, taxi aage nahi jayegi.
Santa: Koi baat nahi, reverse lelo!
Santa: Mujhe char mahine mein tamil seekhna padega
Banta: Kyu?
Santa: Mene tamil bacha adopt kiya hai, wo 4 months me bolne lagega.
Santa: Mere dada ne war me sabki tange kaat di thi.
Banta: Gardane kyu nahi kati?
Santa: Wo already kati hui thi.
Santa calls sheru: Mein bol raha hu.
Sheru: wah, ithe bhi me bol raha hu.
Ek chor santa se: sona kahaan hai?
Santa: Jidhar marzi so jao.
Santa: Time kya huva?
Banta: 6 pm
Santa: Subah se sab alag alag bata rahe he.
Santa: Rs 10 refill me kitna talk time?
Shopkeeper: Rs 7.
Santa: Ok, baaki Rs 3 ke chocolate dedo.
Santa: Ghar ka darwaza ukhaad ke le ja raha hun
Santa’s wife: Kahan?
Santa: Tala khulwanay.
Santa: Why are you holding your hands over your ears?
Banta: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Santa to his patient:
Take this medicine 30 minutes before you feel the pain.
Santa kissed a pretty girl.
Girl: Stupid what are you doing?
Santa: MBA final year!
Santa was shopping
Shopkeeper: Sir! Do you want a pocket calculator?
Santa: No thanks! I know how many pockets I have!
Preeto: Our kids are spoiled.
Santa: All kids smell that way.
Santa: Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Not at all.
Santa: Ok, I didn’t do my homework.
Boss: What did you do today?
Santa: I rearranged the keyboard alphabets.
Santa studying on a hill top
Man: What are you doing?
Santa: “Oye! Higher studies”.
Santa: I think our neighbors too poor?
Banta: Why?
Santa: They made a big fuss when their baby swallowed a coin.
Santa opens a petrol pump, gets no customer.
Why?
It was on the second floor.
Santa suffers huge loss in business.
Why?
He opened a saloon in Punjab.
Santa: I couldn’t sleep in the upper berth all night.
Banta: Why didn’t you exchange?
Santa: There was no one to exchange in the berth.
Teacher: Tell me the name of any Microsoft product?
Santa: MS Excel
Manju: MS Word
Sanju: MS Powerpoint
Banta (After thinking a lot): MS Dhoni.
Kanjus Santa: I went for my honey moon alone & saved half the money.
Banta: That’s nothing, I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with him.