- Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
- Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
- Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
- Classic: A book which people praise, but does not read.
- Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
- Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
- Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
- Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
- Criminal: A guy no different from the rest… Except that he got caught.
- Dictionary: Place where divorce comes before marriage.
- Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
- Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
- Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
- Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
- :A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
- Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
- Father: A banker provided by nature.
- Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to students without passing through the minds of either.
- Love: Temporary illness curable by marrying some other boy or girl.
- Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
- Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
- Marriage: The only union that can’t be organized. Both sides think they’re management.
- Marriage: Wherein one is always right and the other is husband.
- MATHS: Mentally Affected Teachers Harassing Students.
- Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
- Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
- Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
- Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “see I am not injured yet.”
- Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
- Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
- Politician: Person who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
- Professor: Person who talks in someone else’s sleep.
- Programmer: An organism that turns caffeine and pizza into software.
- Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
- Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.
- Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.